Thursday, November 26, 2015
About the book:
Are you tired of lies, broken promises, cheating and emotional game playing? Are you in a relationship so toxic that you're questioning your own sanity, yet can't seem to break away? Have you changed from the happy, confident woman you used to be before you met him, feeling depressed, anxious and insecure? That's my story too. That's life with a narcissist.
We live in a world of narcissism but how do you know if your partner really is a toxic narcissist, or whether you should just give it more time and patience? Here are some clues:
Has he told you how amazing you are, that he’s never felt like this before?
How he feels like with you he has won the lottery?
How his ex’s all want him back but they’re all psychos who hurt him too much?
Has he romanced you with flowers and gifts, behaved like your perfect Prince Charming?
Has he been your dream man in every way, only to suddenly misinterpret something you say and become viciously cold and silent, even to disappear completely for a while?
Has he raged in anger over the smallest thing?
If he hasn’t done so yet, he will.
Be prepared. The minute he knows he has you, he will turn. It’s a cat and mouse game and he is a master at it.
His Prince Charming persona is only a facade; look behind the mask and you will find he is a total fraud.
The Love Games is so titled because a relationship with a narcissist is very much a series of control and mind games cloaked within the name of love. To a narcissist, a relationship is not a partnership but simply a competition to be the best, which he must win at all costs. He is a damaged man who has repeated the same abusive and emotional manipulations with every woman he has been with and if you have played into his game he will do the same to you.
In Planet Ben the reader is taken on my own journey as I enter Ben’s narcissistic world, believing I have met the man of my dreams, only to find out I am caught up in a fairytale nightmare. This book outlines the first year with a narcissist, the romantic beginning, the methods he uses to set the game up and the confusion and bewilderment that sets in as my ideal love begins to change from Mr Nice to Mr Nasty, something that every partner of a narcissist experiences.
After an initial intro on narcissism, the balance of the book is relayed in a diary form which I kept throughout the relationship. You will see my struggle to understand what I am dealing with as the Jeckyll/Hyde character that inevitably manifests within a narcissistic relationship, makes his appearance through day to day examples. You will also witness my denial of how bad things really are, something that often happens to those on the receiving end of emotional abuse as they struggle to cope.
Along with insights into the narcissistic personality, Planet Ben provides suggestions on how to avoid making the same mistakes that I did and outlines the personality traits and patterns of your own that may be keeping you trapped within a narcissist’s toxic game. If you are with a narcissist you will most certainly see your own situation reflected within the pages of this book.
This book was easy to read and even easier to relate to on so many levels. The author writes in a very conversational style so you feel like she is talking to you. It is not preachy and reads in some ways like a novel, which is why I finished the book.
I think this is a brave topic and one that will help many women who are mystified by the suddenly switch in their man's personality. The same could be said in the reverse as I am sure many nice guys have fallen for a woman like Ben. The sad truth of the matter is that I have had similar experiences as Susan Williams in my life with different relationships. I didn't have the exact same turmoil, but a few that were similar enough to make me pause and reflect while reading this book.
Like the author, at times I, too, found myself journaling about the confusion I felt as a way of coping with the emotional turmoil I suffered inside. I had to let the pent up emotions out so they wouldn't make me crazy. Trying to discuss your issues with a narcissist is impossible as they have a way of turning it all around and attacking you instead of looking at themselves and what they could do to change. I have also worn out dear friends with my indecisiveness at times. I've enjoyed this book so much I plan to read the second in the series. I have found it very insightful and well-written. I would highly recommended it even to women in healthy relationships.
This book was published by the author (and impeccably written with no spelling or grammar errors that I noticed) and was released via kindle direct in 2014.