Blog tour for Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children (bonus review)

A special opening message from Allison Bottke: The interview that follows has been personalized for every blog I’ll be visiting during the month of April. I want to thank our Blog Host for taking the time to read my newest non-fiction book and for sharing it here today on the Setting Boundaries April Blog Tour. You are helping to spread the word about a topic that desperately needs to be addressed—with a message already striking a chord in hearts around the nation.

Our country is in a crisis of epidemic proportion concerning adult children whose lives are spinning out of control—leaving parents and grandparents broken-hearted and confused. This painful issue is destroying individuals, families, marriages, churches, and communities. I believe in my heart that you are reading this message today for a very specific reason. Do you know someone who has an adult child who is always in crisis? An adult child who brings chaos to virtually every situation? Could this painful issue be touching your life today?

If so, there’s a truth I’ve come to embrace that has changed my life—it can change yours, too. It’s taken me more years than I care to admit, but I no longer believe in “coincidences.” The truth I’ve come to embrace is that God is the Master of orchestrating “God-cidences.” He has a plan for who he wants us to meet, what lessons he wants us to learn, even what books he wants us to read. He even has a plan for the trials and tribulations of life.

When we begin to look at everything that happens to us throughout the day as “God-cidences” (and not accidental coincidences) it changes the way we view our world.

That said, my prayer is that you will see the following message and the book; Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing as a “God-cidence” placed into your life today for a powerful purpose. Perhaps it’s to help heal your family or the family of a loved one. Perhaps you are here to help us introduce this resource to a broader audience via additional media contacts you may have. Whatever the “God-cidence” may be, please know our primary goal is to bring hope and healing to families around the nation—thank you for helping us do that.

I pray you will view what you are about to read as a “God-cidence” meant just for you.

God Bless and Keep You,
Allison Bottke


About the book:

This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones.

Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage—and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text.

A tough–love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.

S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money
A = Assemble a Support Group
N = Nip Excuses in the Bud
I = Implement Rules/Boundaries
T = Trust Your Instincts
Y = Yield Everything to God

My review:

There are many, many helpful non-fiction books in this world to choose from, but this is one that every parent MUST read. It's incredibly well-written and interesting, and the examples are excellent. Since I've worked with dysfunctional people and families for twenty years as a social worker, I can testify that Allison knows what she is talking about. She's obviously poured her heart and soul into this book in order to help families, and I've not found better advice out there for people who have adult children than is mentioned here. In fact, I brought it to church with me to a Bible study as I was reading it. People were checking it out because everyone knows someone who has an adult child who has torn their parents' hearts out by the way they live their lives. The awesome thing about this book is that the advice will actually work, painful as it will be. It's scripturally sound advice. Allison makes an impressive case as you'll see when you read the book.

There is even a benefit to reading this book while your kids are still young, or teenagers. They don't have to be fully grown children for you to benefit as a reader. Why? Because you can stop destructive patterns BEFORE you let them destroy your children. I've pondered some things about my own parenting style as a result of this book and it's sparked some great discussions with my husband. We are doing a lot of things right, but there are always ways to improve. Like making sure your own childhood deficits don't interfere with what God is trying to work in your child's life. My boys are 15 and 16 and Setting Boundaries for Your Adult Children has actually helped me with some decisions I need to make as they grow older. I feel so much more equipped. Bless Allison for opening her heart and making herself vulnerable for the sake of the ministry God has given her. This book is a winner!


Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children by Allison Bottke was published by Harvest House and released in Feb. 2008.